


Halfway To Nowhere

by alexrun



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Controlling, Crying, Daddy Kink, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, FBI, Guns, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insecure!Reader, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Knives, Loss of Identity, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Virginity, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mind Manipulation, NSFW, Nervousness, Nudity, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Protectiveness, Psychological Torture, Reader is virgin, Reader-Insert, Sad, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Serial Killers, Sex, Shy, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Slow To Update, Smut, Torture, Trust Issues, Voice Kink, Weapons, bad words oh no, bau, body image issues, cursing, it will be okay tho, reader doesn't curse tho, reader is super duper uncomfortable with their body, reader is the victim, reader stutters a lot, shy!reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:58:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexrun/pseuds/alexrun
Summary: Hello! Welcome to my Archive, I'm known for not finishing fanfics aha but I'll try my best fam.This fic is going to be 5-10 chapters long and will be full of fluff, drama, and crime. Obviously, it's Hotch/Fem!Reader, sorry boys/non-binary people, you are all beautiful and I appreciate you :*The reader is a kidnapped victim who has been held captive for ~5 years. She's delusional, has some serious issues, and is completely helpless at this point.Will the BAU rescue you? Let's find out hehe...





	1. tf when ur drugged n don't know where u r

     "Ah..." You gasp quietly as you come into consciousness. 

     There's a loud ringing in your ears and your heartbeat pounds against your skull. It's dark, you try to crack open your heavy eyes. Everything seems just out of focus. You try to move your head, arms, toes, anything, but you feel as though your body is filled with sand. The cool touch of your shackles tightened around your ankles and wrists shock your nervous system. All you can do is feel. You feel dirty. Your rag of a T-shirt sticks to your sweaty skin. You feel itchy. Your shorts are oversized and stretched out. You feel empty. You open your mouth to stretch it and your lips crack painfully. Finally, you open your eyes with much effort. The first thing you see is the ceiling, blank, dull, and gray. You look to the walls, they're the same way; vacant of any decor at all. You look around, slightly moving your pounding head, it's dim but you can make out a small, antique looking vanity. There's an array of cheap woman's perfumes, lotions, makeup, brushes, and a small jar of mints. The only normal thing in your room is that vanity. You always remember the vanity through your spotted memory.

     You roll your eyes back, feeling exhausted just from looking around. Chains jingle as you lift a sore arm to rub your face. It feels so good to rub your eyes, cheeks, nose, it makes you feel human for a second. Although, you can't ignore the stiff air and lumpy bed. You let your hand fall back to your side with a thump and sigh. This is all you've ever known. These walls are your only companions, while that lovely vanity taunts you with comforts you can never have.

      _I gotta get up._ You think to yourself as the ringing in your ears dies down. With a whimper, you sit up slowly. Your hair falls limp against your face, it's oily and matted from tossing and turning in your bed. You throw your legs over the edge of the bed. The touch of the cold floor against your toes sends goosebumps up your spine. You stand up off your bed, knees popping, and you steady yourself for a second. Your vision going blurry from the sudden movement. After steadying yourself, you wobble over to your room's door, nearly tripping over your swollen feet. On your door, there's a smaller, sliding door that's a little above eye level for you. You grab the little nob and slide it open carefully. You squint, looking through the small opening, to see a hallway leading to other doors and god knows where. There are no windows along the walls and the interior is the exact same, bland and gray. 

     Your stomach growls and you moan to yourself, feeling sick. You wrap your arms around yourself and look over to the jar of mints sitting at the vanity. You have an inkling of a memory of you trying to get the mints, but it's all too far to reach as the chains on your ankles dug into your skin. The faint memory quickly removes the erge to try and reach for anything on the vanity. You sadly turn to your bed. There's an old pillow, sunken and stained, and a thin blanket crumpled off to the side. You step over to the bed and sit on it, resting. Your hand glides over the sheets, feeling the cool touch of your sweat drying on them. 

    "Oh god..." You groan as you suddenly feel nauseous. You grab your stomach and try to hold it in. It's too much and you end up throwing up on the floor. You start dry heaving, feeling like your body is trying to rid itself of something but nothing comes out. Once done, you shakily wipe off the beads of sweat that had formed on your forehead and pant heavily. A feeling of dread overcame you immediately as you viewed the mess you made.

    Footsteps. Your head snapped over to your door as it clicked open. 

    "Hellooo~?" A sing-song voice broke the incredible silence you had been in, "What's going on in here?"

    A man stepped in and locked the door behind him. He stood there for a few agonizing heartbeats as he analyzed the situation.

    You looked up at him from your bed, "Ah...I-I..." you stutter, trying to explain what happened.

    The tall, heavy man hushed you, "Oh dear, have you gotten sick?" A smile stretched across his face. 

    You stared at him, unsure of how to feel or respond. This man was the only person you've ever known, he takes good care of you, considering your conditions. He always dresses very casually; sweat pants, slippers, baggy shirt. 

    You nod slowly, looking down, "Sorry...I-I think I need some water..." you whisper.

    You hear him chuckle softly and walk over to you, "Well, first, you have to clean up your mess, Number Four." He leans down to your face and breathes in sharply.

    You stiffen as he smells you, keeping your eyes on your lap. You hear a deep chuckle come from him, his breath hitting your face. He straightens back up and walks out of your room, returning with a towel, bucket, some plastic bags, and cleaning supplies. You watch as he sets them down next to your mess and he looks sternly back at you. Your eyes widen as you realize he's waiting for you to start cleaning. Immediately, you hop off of your bed and onto your knees, hitting them a little too hard on the concrete floor. You wince but ignore the pain and grab a bag to start throwing the mess in it. He towers over you, watching every move with pleasure. You hear him sit on your bed behind you, the springs creaking sadly. 

     "You've become such a loyal companion, Number Four. It's almost as if you... **like** doing chores now...?" He said, "Do you even remember when you first came here?"

     You stop your movements and slowly look behind you up at him, "Uh...I...I don't..." your eyebrows scrunch together as you concentrate as hard as you can, "I don't...remember anything..."

     At that, he smiles wide and laughs, "That's alright, do you remember where you are?"

     You shake your head, continuing your work.

     "It's okay, I'm here for you, Number Four, I'm your friend, you remember **that** right?" He presses.

     You nod your head quickly.

     "Haha, good. I knew you would remember that. I might have to reprimand you sometimes, but we're buds. We're all we have, you know, it's just you and me, and I'm your protector, gaurdian, caretaker even." You hear him sigh, "You're sick though, you're always sick it seems. I'll get your medicine again."

     You can hardly focus on what he's mumbling about, but that's how most of your encounters with him go. It's like you've been living in a haze, stumbling through a fog of broken memories. It didn't help that you could never hold your food down either. The mess was almost cleaned up as you spray some disinfectant on the surface. 

     "Number Four..." You hear the man call you from behind, trying to get your attention, "Why haven't you called me by my name yet."

     "Uh...um..." You stumble over your words, trying to remember what he told you to call him, knowing it was important.

     He suddenly grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back to look at him. You gasped in pain and instantly let him take control of you, knowing that fighting was a waste of energy, and you had very little energy. You stared up at him, his crooked smile coming in and out of focus.

     "You're useless, everyday I tell you what to call me and you just don't care, do you? I'm not enough for you? Have I not done enough for you to at least remember my goddamn name?!" He increasingly got louder to almost shouting in your face.

     He roughly threw your head forward to where you were cleaning and you caught yourself before falling face-first in the bucket. You reached a hand behind your head where he had grabbed you, wincing at the pain. 

     "Master." He growled down at you, "If you forget again, i'll have no choice, Number Four."

     With that, he picked up all the supplies and trash and slammed your door shut, making you yelp. 

     "M-master." You mumble to yourself, feeling hot tears start to form in your eyes. 

     Feeling worse than ever, you quietly climbed onto your bed and wrapped the blanket around your body. Despite the sweating, you felt cold. Not just on the outside, but on the inside too. You never liked it when he slammed the door on you, it left such a feeling of abandonment and loneliness in you. You know you can't leave this room to chase after him and apologize. You have to wait and think about what you've done, over and over, until he decides to come back. Sometimes, you thought he was never going to come back. He would not return to your room for much longer than expected, you knew because you would get hungry and no one would come to feed you. The hungrier you got, the longer you calculated he was gone, ignoring you, maybe left you to finally die. Death had never sounded so good, yet a twinge of guilt would hit you because you know it would mean leaving him behind, he'd be all alone. It was like he said earlier, he's all you have.  _He's my protector, so he has to come back, right?_ You thought anxiously. 

     Suddenly, the door slammed open, shocking you out of your thoughts and causing you to sit upright. Master had come back and was pushing a medical table into your room. It looked very clean and shiny, like aliens had brought it to him. On the table, as it came to a stop in front of your bed, was various tools like knives, needles, wraps, drills. The sight sent an icy shiver down your spine. You looked up at him and he had the look of a crazy man on his face. His eyes were wide, his hair fluffed out, a nervous sweat covered his forehead. 

     "W-what's going on?" You asked in fear, shrinking back into your bed.

     Master looked up at you in surprise, as if he didn't know you could talk, and ripped your sheets right off you. You pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them, trying to feel safe. He retrieved a remote from his pocket and pressed a button. Machines started whirring and the chains attached to your wrists and ankles started to retract, pulling your arms and legs down. Now, with you forced to lay flat on the bed, apendages being held tight, Master looked you up and down, smiling.

     "Don't worry, Number four. Number Two had the same...issues you are having now. You won't forget again, I promise." He cackled and pushed your shirt up so your belly was exposed.

     You gasped and yanked at your chains. Master hushed you and cleaned a spot on your lower abdomen with an alcohol wipe. You lifted your head to see what he was doing, whimpering when you figured out what was coming next. He looked up at you, chuckling at your noises. He then grabbed a blade and touched it to your skin. 

     "Ah! No! Please!" You shouted, anticipating the pain to come.

     Master ran his hand up the side of your stomach and back down again as you squirmed, "Everything will be much better now, I promise. Remember, okay? I'm doing this for you. I'm helping you, okay?"

     His eyes burned into yours, waiting for an answer. You were having trouble breathing and couldn't think straight. All you knew was that you didn't want to feel anything that was coming.

     "Uh...um, okay, but c-can I...have my medicine first...um...please, Master?" You asked in the nicest voice you could muster, trying to sound humble as the blade drifted only inches from your sensitive skin.

     Master looked like he was considering for a moment and then nodded slowly. He put down the blade, to which you let out a little sigh, and picked up a cup. It had a small amount of liquid in it. You knew this smell and taste very well, it was like you'd been doing this all your life, except you hated it. You sipped from the cup he was holding up to your lips. Almost immediately you felt your vision get worse and your senses melted. Before you knew it, you were unconscious to the world around you once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Helpful criticism is GREATLY appreciated.
> 
> Want to know more about me? Follow my Tumblr: http://moon-chlld.tumblr.com/  
> I'm always open to Asks and Submissions :)


	2. Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, reader finally gains the opportunity to escape. Unfortunately, escaping never seemed so complicated until now. 
> 
> Also, our favorite team shows up in this reading too. TuT

            You woke up with a start, your head pounding worse than ever. As you shifted slightly in your bed, a sharp pain shot through your body from your lower abdomen. You gasped and shakily reached your pale fingers to lift your shirt slightly.

            “Ah…oh god…” You whispered as you peeled the shirt from a scab that had formed while you were knocked out.

            Carved in a very shallow and meticulous way into your skin was the word, “ _MINE_ ”. The lines were an irritated red with pink and purple surrounding them. You let your head rest back on your pillow, allowing your shirt to gently rest over the new wound. It wasn’t the first time he had done something like that to you. He never would carve words though, or even symbols for that matter. Sometimes, it seemed he just felt like hurting you for no reason, or maybe you couldn’t remember the reason. You traced some older scars along your legs and arms he had inflicted in the past, some days you would just wake up with new bruises, cuts, gashes, burns. You could never remember what had happened or what he did to create such scars. All you knew was the pain and humiliation that came with it.

            Turning over carefully to your side, you see sitting on the vanity across the room from you is a tall glass of water. You gasped and sat upright, making yourself wince as your wound stretched. _Why does it have to be way over there?_ You cried to yourself in thought. Determined and with new motivation, you climb off of you messy bed and stumble as far as you can before your chains cease to move. Frustrated because of how thirsty and weak you feel, you reach and strain your fingers as far as humanly possible, barely scratching the leg of the vanity with a fingernail. _So close!_ You think, sweat starting to form on your forehead.

            You have to stop before passing out, not realizing you were holding your breath. Sitting on the floor, you examine your situation. Chain, vanity, water. You can see it, it’s so close. You grab your ankle bracelet with a huff and try to pull your foot out. It dug into your bruised skin, the sensation feeling like fire. Again, you have to stop before passing out, this time from the pain. You had tried to yank and squeeze and cut your hands or feet free for as long as you can remember. The existing bruised skin on each make it harder to try and escape your as they never seem to heal, you’re always too busy doing more damage than good to them.

            “There’s got to be a way, why else would he put water there for me?” You mumbled in confusion.

            “Because I think you needed to learn a lesson.” A voice echoed into your room.

            You gasped in surprise and looked over at your door. The smaller eye-hole was slid open and that man was standing there, watching you. With a click, the door unlocked, and he came walking in, never breaking eye contact with you. You started to shake, scared as to what this all meant and if you had done something wrong. He scoffed, seeing how nervous your demeanor became as he entered the room.

            “Just a second ago, I swear I could have seen a fire in your eyes. Now?” He leaned down in front of you, examining your expression closer, “Fear…”

            “C-can I just have that water, please?” You asked fretfully.

            It was true, you were terrified of him at the moment, but your body was craving water too bad to concentrate on such emotions. He seemed a little surprised at your forwardness, lifting his eyebrows and sticking out his bottom lip.

            “Sure, I’ll just hand it to you, because I don’t do enough for you already, right?” He grumbled, walking over to the vanity, “You know, this used to be my mother’s nightstand.”

            You looked up at his back as he stood in front of the table, feeling bad that you opened your mouth at all. You weren’t too interested in the back story but wouldn’t dare to interrupt him now.

            “She would sit here, every day. Making sure everything was in place, perfect. She wanted perfection, craved it even.” He suddenly turned to you with the glass in hand, “I guess I was never…perfect to her, though.”

            He stepped over to you, about to hand the glass down, “I didn’t mind playing the part though. It was the least I could do.”

            Your breath was shaky and you hesitantly nodded your head, “I…I bet you were a great son to her…despite it all.”

            At that he laughed in a cruel way, like he was mocking you, “You think I need your reassurance? Damn right I was the best son to her. Whoever wronged her had to deal with **me**.”

            “What…do you mean?” You asked, swallowing hard.

            He glared at you with dark eyes for a few heartbeats until he crouched eye-level with you, “They would never mess with my momma again.” A creepy smile stretched over his unshaven face.

            You felt ice run up your spine, “D-didn’t you…kill your momma?” you remember how he had told you long ago.

            His face became red with irritation, “I **saved** her!”

            One of his hands struck you across the face. You barely had time to even register it coming down on you. The slap was loud and stung terribly. You gasped and had to lean back on a wall.

            You cupped your hot cheek with a quivering hand, “I-I’m sorry…” you whimpered, holding back tears.

            He scoffed at you again, “You’re pathetic.”

Finally, he gave in and handed you the glass, becoming completely stone-faced and emotionless again. The water spilled on you a little as he wasn’t being gentle, but you were appreciative all the same.

            “Th-thank you…!” You quickly brought the cup up to your dry lips and practically drank the whole thing in one sitting.

            He watched as you swallowed the last drop, seeming content. You looked up and felt the need to say something, a bad feeling creeping under your skin.

            “Ah…thank you, master, f-for the water.” You stuttered a bit but managed to get the sentence out.

            He smirked and lunged towards you, gripping your neck with both of his hands. You yelped in surprise and brought your hands up to claw at him, the glass shattering on the floor 

            “Stop struggling, it’ll only make it worse.” He growled into your face as he lifted you up to your feet and slammed you against the wall, “You’ve become completely numb to everything, yet you still try to fight to live, why? Do you not trust me? Do you really think I would kill you? Or do you think you can overpower me? Have a better life if you left me, huh? 

            Tears streamed down your face as you gasped for air. You shook your head as hard as you could while your vision began to blur.

            “I don’t think that! Please –“ you gagged, becoming dizzy, “Let me go, I will never leave you – I promise!”

            He suddenly threw you to the side with a frustrated grunt, “You just don’t get it, Number Four, what the fuck is wrong with you? You’re not…you’re just…” He was overcome with anger and stormed out of your room. 

            You were collapsed on the floor, holding your throat in your hands and choking for air. The black spots that started to invade your vision slowly disintegrate and the pressure lifted from your head. _Oh my god, why? I thought he was going to kill me, but then says he would never do that? Should I have trusted him? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong?_

“What did I do wrong!” You screech out loud, digging your fingernails into your scalp.

            You were so confused and scared that you didn’t know how to process your situation anymore. _This can’t be it, this can’t be all there is. There has to be something else out there for me, is this really my fate? Is this who I’m meant to be? Is he my soulmate? Are we married? Are we family? What are my obligations to him?_ Your thoughts were spinning like a tornado in your mind, everything you knew was crashing down on you. Nothing made sense anymore, not that it made much sense to begin with. You were never sure what time or day or even what year it was, you weren’t even sure you could read a calendar or clock anyway, if given one. Your tears spilled onto the floor in front of you as you held your knees up to your chest, slightly rocking yourself back and forth.

            With your face stuffed into your knees and chest, you were completely in your own dark world. Until suddenly a cool breeze drifted across your bare legs. Jolting upright, you see it. The source of the draft. He left your door open.

            “It’s open…” You whispered in awe. 

            You had never been able to leave your room, as he had kept it that way. He told you about how there was evil outside, monsters, and terrible illnesses. He was keeping you safe and hidden from all bad things in this room. This was your sanctuary.

            “But…the air…feels so good.” You mumbled to yourself.

            As if your body was moving on its own, you slowly started to crawl towards the opening. Your heart raced in your chest, thundering in your ears too. It was like all your senses were on high alert for something about to happen. As you came to the doorframe, you stood up and halted. You were shaking like a leaf, completely terrified of what might happen if you looked out there. You reached a tentative hand out and touched the frame to lean on. Gradually, you peaked your head out of your room. It was just a long hall with other doors. Just as you had seen through your eye-hole. The disappointment sat in your stomach like a rock and you suddenly craved to see more. 

            Angrily, you looked down at the shackles around your ankles. You sat down to examine them closer. You knew by now that they had a keyhole but you were sure that man held onto the key at all times, along with your room’s key. You scratched at the hole, wishing your finger was small enough to fit in there and click it open. You looked around at your surroundings, wondering if there might be anything you missed to get you unlocked from these chains. You saw the mess of broken glass on your floor and suddenly had an idea. You swallowed nervously at the thought of it though.

            For some unknown, guttural feeling, you knew you had to try though. You weren’t sure where the man resided when not with you, so you would have to hope it wasn’t close in order to give you time to escape. 

            You halted in your thoughts, “…escape…?”

            The idea always alluded you, never thinking of it in that way. You just wanted to look around, you weren’t actually trying to abandon the only person who takes care of you. Guilt stung your heart. 

            “I-I just really want to walk around…” You mumbled, frustrated with yourself.

            You tried to focus on whether you should push through and continue with your plan, you knew you could possibly take a small piece of glass and wedge it into the keyhole. You felt sick now, sick of being controlled by fear and bogged down by thoughts in your mind. You felt like it was time, time to get out. Although, a bigger part of your brain was screaming to not do it. You were scared of failing and the consequences. _Would it really be worth it?_ You thought sadly.

            **_BANG!!!_**

            A loud, deafening sound shook your eardrums, causing you to recoil further into the safety of your room. You brought your hands over your ears and leaned against a wall, shivering from the surprise.

            “W-what was that…?” You murmured.

            With huge eyes, you crept back over to the open door to look down both ways of the hallway. _Where did that come from?_ **BANG! BANG!** A few harsher cracking sounds echoed from somewhere farther away from you. At this point, you were terrified. Something bad must have happened for such horribly loud noises to rip through the air. You realized that your master might be in trouble, _maybe the evil outside broke in and he was fighting to keep you safe._

            You shuddered and tried to muster up some courage to move and think. You looked over at the vanity. The only way you could get to him and help was to break away from these chains. You nodded to yourself, decided. You got on the ground and started searching for a thin piece of glass. As you looked, you could hear something in the distance. _Are those…voices?_ You started to panic and urged yourself to grab one already.

            You shoved it into one of your wrist shackles. You pushed, twisted, and jiggled the glass around, accidentally slicing your fingers in the process. You hissed in pain but ignored it. You started to hear doors slamming and footsteps running around. Your nerves were going crazy and you tried to maintain your cool.

            “I have to save him!” You said through gritted teeth. 

            “Over here!” A foreign voice pierced your ears.

            You looked behind you and didn’t see anything or anyone. The voice sent shivers down your body and sounded absolutely terrifying. You hadn’t heard another person’s voice in…well, you weren’t sure. The sound, however, sent you into a panic. Fear was your only source of energy right now, the sounds and voices multiplying and surrounding your brain. Sweat was dripping down the bridge of your nose, tickling it, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. Your eyes were bugging out of your heard, adrenalin pumping through you.

            _Click_!

            You gasped. It opened. You froze in place and slowly peeled the metal off of your purple and blue skin. It hurt at first, the exposure causing more pain than relief, which you craved. You sighed in satisfaction, nonetheless.

            “I found victim number four.” A voice broke through your bliss.

            You stood up quickly and spun around. You gasped, some man you had never seen before was standing in your doorway. He had short, jet black hair and piercing eyes. As he locked eyes with you the hair on the back of your neck stood up. He looked terrifying and was holding something, pointing it towards straight in front of himself and advancing into the room slowly.

He looked around your room quickly, “Is anyone here with you?”

You gulped and all you could do was shake your head and slowly back away. As he put the black thing in his hand into his belt pocket, you saw on his chest was a thick, black vest with bright letters across it reading, “FBI”. You were confused by the lettering, not knowing what it meant. The man started to approach you, holding out a hand and looking like he was about to say something. You took a sharp breath in and backed away so fast that your back slammed against the wall.

He stopped in his tracks, “It’s okay, I’m Aaron and I’m with the FBI.” He told you softly.

You had to break eye contact with him. You didn’t understand anything of what he just said except his name. _Aaron? It sounds like a normal person’s name. Are there really other good people out there?_ You suddenly felt your heart clench as you remembered your master and his safety.

“W-where is he…?” You managed to choke out, looking down at the floor.

“The man who hurt you can’t harm you anymore, my team is searching for him, but I have to get you out of here immediately.” Aaron replied sternly, taking a step forward and reaching out his hand again. 

You recoiled, bringing your hands up to your chest and shaking your head. Aaron sighed and reached out to grip your shoulder. You gasped and tried to pull away, but he was too strong for you.

“Ma’am, we have to go **now**. I promise he won’t hurt you anymore.” He tried to reason with you.

“B-but!” You cried quietly, unsure of what to do.

“This man hurt you, he’s kept you captive, there’s nothing for you here. This is your chance to escape, do you understand?” Aaron asked, trying to make eye contact with you.

You were using your other hand to try and push his hand off of your arm but to no avail. You glanced up briefly and saw he looked very concerned and stressed. With great effort, you tried to reason with yourself. You relaxed a little when you realized he probably wasn’t going to hurt you, it seemed he wanted to help. _Maybe he can help Master too?_ He noticed you calm down and attempted to guide you out of your room. You resisted at first, trying to pull your arm back again. Instead of gripping you tighter though, Aaron let go of your arm and instead placed a solid hand onto your back. This, for some reason, made it easier for you to feel safe with him. You were still shaking from nerves and confusion as he held you closer to his body. You felt strange, almost uncomfortable from the sudden contact, but you weren’t going to try to get away anymore. 

Walking was still a little tricky for you, especially with Aaron’s long strides. You stumbled over your pale and bruised feet, trying to keep up. Aaron glanced down at you, trying to help hold you up.

“Are you alright? We’re almost there but there are stairs, can you walk up them?” He asked urgently.

You gasped for air. You hadn’t walked this far or fast ever, or at least as far back as you can remember. You were very weak and malnourished; your head was spinning, and you could hear your heartbeat like a drum.

“I-I don’t know…” You panted in fear, the new environment giving you chills.

 Aaron quickly nodded and continued to support you down the hallway. Just as you two rounded a corner, a figure was limping in your direction. Aaron instantly opened a random door that was next to you and shoved you inside. Following closely behind you, he closed the door and locked it. It was dark and you couldn’t see anything, you could only hear the soft breathing of the other person in the room. Your breath got caught in your throat as the darkness started to suffocate you. The steps from the other figure were slowly getting closer, louder. You started to tremble again and felt as though you may faint. You reached out a hand into the pitch blackness and felt the fabric of Aaron’s thick vest. You pulled away at first but then quickly tried to grip it with your nails.

“Shhh…” You heard him whisper as he turned to face you, “Stay behind me.”

He reached out and put a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it in reassurance. You lifted a hand to grab his wrist, not wanting him to let go. You knew you had to, however, so you regretfully let his hand slip away. You backed up until you hit a wall, leaning against it. Suddenly, you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You gasped quietly, thinking it was just Aaron who spooked you.

            “Number Four…” It was your master whispering in your ear, “Follow me.”

You froze, fear gripping your body. Although, at the same time, you realized he didn’t sound mad, yet. Hesitantly, glancing into the darkness you knew Aaron was standing in, you followed the voice deeper into the room. A light flicked on, a flashlight. He was holding it up to his face as to not shine it in Aaron’s direction. He looked like he had been in a fight, his hair crazy and his eyes dark. It also looked like he was hurt somewhere as blood started to pool at his feet. You stared up at him in fear and relief.

            “Oh, master…!” You gasped, “I was so worried you might get hurt so-so I was t-trying to-…”

            He came over to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing you uncomfortably close to him. You stiffened as he pressed against you, last time he touched you he was choking you.

            “It’s okay, I’m glad you felt that way, but don’t ever try to do this again.” His tone was menacingly low, “Come on, we have to leave. It’s not safe. There are intruders.”

            You nodded softly and tried to crane your neck to see where Aaron was.

            “Listen, you can’t trust anyone in here. You could have been killed by that man; you hear me? He’s dangerous, I may to talk our way out, okay? Anything can happen. Just make sure you follow my lead, got it?” He reassured you sternly.

            You nodded profusely; happy he wasn’t too mad about you being with Aaron but also scared of what could happen. Suddenly, the room was flooded with light as more FBI people came in with their flashlights and surrounded the two of you. You tried to turn around, but he still held you tightly against his body.

            “Stanley! It’s no use! Turn yourself in before someone else gets hurt!” A shout came from a female FBI person.

            You froze and starred at your master, “Who’s Stanley? W-who…?”

            Master suddenly turned you around so that he was behind you and brought both of your hands to your back. You felt restrained again, captured. _Will this ever end?_ You winced at the sudden movement due to your cuts in your abdomen starting to bleed again.

            “Stanley, put the knife down, now.” An FBI man ordered sternly. 

            _Knife?_ You thought to yourself in confusion. You then felt something cool press against the skin of your neck. Looking down, you saw it, the knife. Your master had a long, silver blade pressed to your neck. You swallowed hard, _just remember to follow his lead, he wouldn’t kill me, we’re fighting these people together._ You reassured yourself. 

            “I’ll kill her if you shoot me.” Master spat at them with a menacing smile.

 _It’s like he likes this,_ you thought to yourself. You looked back over to the FBI people, wondering who was more dangerous at this point. You noticed Aaron among them and felt a pang of guilt. Whenever he looked at you, you had to look away. It was like it was too much for you to handle, you couldn’t keep contact for the life of you.

            “We both know you wouldn’t do that, Stanley. She’s all you have. You can’t kill her, not even if you wanted to.” Another FBI man called to him, “Now, just put the knife down." 

            “No!” Master shouted in your ear, making you wince.

            His grip became tighter against your wrists and you had to arch your back to give leeway for your arms to bend properly. The blade against your neck was also pricking your skin a little too hard for your liking.

            You slowly turned your head to try and look at your master, “W-what do I do?” you whisper. 

            Master doesn’t look at you but maintains eye contact with the FBI man, a smile growing on his face, “See? She likes me, we’re two peas in a pod…if you take me down, **she’ll follow** **willingly**.”

            The last few words he drew out to really make them sink in. Your legs were starting to shake as the adrenaline from before quickly started to leave your body. You couldn’t hold yourself up much longer, especially with your master holding you in such an uncomfortable angle.

            “If you care for her, why have you tortured her? Kept her locked away? Deprived her of basic human needs? This seems like a very one-sided relationship to me.” The FBI man went on, looking at you now, “Do you like the way he treats you? Are you happy here-?”

            “Shut up! You’re not allowed to talk to her!” Master shouted over him.

            You felt strange, like your feelings were getting all mixed up inside your head. These people before you seemed calm, level-minded, safe even. They didn’t seem like monsters at all. While your master, on the other hand, was shouting, hurting you, and didn’t seem to have any control over the situation like you thought he did. The FBI man continued to hold eye contact with you through the overpowering anger of your master.

            The thought of speaking terrified you, but you remembered that your master wanted your help, so help you were going to give, “…I-…I won’t leave h-him!”

            The FBI man’s eyebrows lifted in a shocked expression. You could tell he wasn’t expecting that reaction and hoped you would do the right thing.

            “You son of a bitch…” he whispered under his breath.

            Master just smiled from behind you, knowing what the FBI man had meant by that while you were clueless. _So many people…_ you started to feel sick, _how could this have happened?_ Suddenly your body convulsed, and you were forced to your knees, throwing up what little your stomach had and dry heaving the rest. Master had let you go for you to fall and was still standing behind you. At that moment, however, another incredibly loud “ _bang_!” rang through the room, bouncing off the walls. You screamed and curled within yourself on the floor. You heard a thud and agonizing wails come from behind you. You sat up and looked over your shoulder to see your master on the floor, gripping his stomach as it bled out. Your heart sank like a rock. 

            “Master!” You shrieked and tried to reach for him.

            There were hands all over you as you grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to get to him. The hands ripped you away, however, and tears were streaming down your face as you screamed for him. The FBI people were pinning him down and putting handcuffs on him as he cried in pain. Not once did he look at you as you were escorted from the room.

            “Nooo!” You howled in sadness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Helpful criticism is GREATLY appreciated.
> 
> Want to know more about me? Follow my Tumblr: http://moon-chlld.tumblr.com/  
> I'm always open to Asks and Submissions :)


	3. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> In this chapter, the reader is finally in safe hands. The road to recovery is going to be a long and bumpy one. Although, it seems Hotch is committed to the ride. ;3c
> 
> Enjoy!

            “We need a medic!” Voices were shouting and calling out all around you.

            The people who had invaded your home had hurt your only friend. He was bleeding heavily while being handcuffed on the floor. His cries were the only clear voice you could make out because you knew it so well. You blamed yourself for becoming sick when you did, even though you knew you couldn’t have controlled it. This was all your fault. You tried to reach for him, but a strong pair of hands was holding you back.

            “Ma’am, you can’t go near him, he’s dangerous.” That voice sounded familiar.

            You glanced behind you and saw it was Aaron who was trying to calm you down. Although, this time, he seemed more flustered than before when he was oozing authority.

            You shook your head, tears streaming down your face, “He’s all I have, and you hurt him!” you cried out in anger.

            Aaron sighed and had to wrap his arms around you tightly to keep you from escaping, “We have to get you to a doctor, come on.”

            He suddenly lifted you off the floor and started to carry you out bridal-style. He knew you wouldn’t try jumping out of his arms as you were quickly running out of energy. You felt like he might accidentally drop you though, which made you tightly grip his vest as to not fall.

            “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Aaron murmured in a low voice so only you could hear him.

            You were breathing heavily from nerves and adrenaline and could hardly register what he had said, but still found it comforting. You heard other voices following behind and craned your neck to see them. There was a tall, lanky man with brown hair and a woman with her black hair in a ponytail. The woman caught your eye and gave you a small smile. You instantly felt fear strike your body and you went back to hiding in Aaron’s chest.

            The four of you made it up a long flight of stairs and came upon a door. A broken padlock was hanging from the door as you passed the threshold. _They really **did** break in by force. _You thought in distress. You noticed that you were now on the upper level of the house, which you had only been to a handful of times. It was small, had some used furniture sitting around, and dust particles floated through the air. As Aaron neared the front door with you in his arms, you felt panic start to build up inside you again. You tensed and started to try and claw yourself out of his grasp.

            “N-No! I don’t want to go out there!” You choked out, trying to catch your breath.

            Aaron grunted at the unexpected change in behavior, trying to keep you from falling out of his arms. He had to give in, however, and let your feet touch the ground. He was still holding on tightly to both of your wrists, making sure you couldn’t turn away from him.

            “The doctors are right outside waiting to help you, please listen.” He ordered but it fell on deaf ears.

           You kept struggling, trying to rip your hands-free of his. You tripped on your own feet and had to fall to the floor, your wrists still being held by Aaron. The woman who had been following you two came up and knelt next to you. You leaned away at first, terrified of anyone who came near you.

           “If he lets you go, will you walk with us outside?” She asked you in a soft voice.

           You stilled for a second, considering what she said, “U-um…” you glanced up nervously to Aaron who was watching intently, “I-I don’t…”

           They both waited patiently for you to answer. You turned your head to the front door and started to tremble. In your head, there were only bad things out there, waiting for you. The second you step out there, they would attack. _That’s what master had told me…_ you thought sadly.

           The woman noticed you shaking and looked up to Aaron, “Hotch, she’s scared to go outside, she’s been locked up in here for too long.”

           He nodded in understanding and knelt down with the woman to face you too, “Your friend down there already has doctors treating him. He’s going to be okay. You’re not okay though, **your** doctors are outside waiting for you.” He informed you calmly.

           The woman nodded in agreement, “If you’re afraid, we’ll protect you, that’s what we’re here for.” She smiled kindly.

           You shook your head in confusion, “I don’t understand.” You saw the defeat in them and quickly tried to make amends, “U-um…I-I’ll try, though…”

_There’s nothing left for me here anyway, I guess…_ You thought miserably. You stood up slowly, legs shaking with effort and nerves. The woman reached to hold your arm to help steady you, but you retracted yourself quickly at the contact.

           “Sorry,” She apologized and withdrew her hand.

           You looked up at her, _Did she just apologize to me?_ You couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at how you reacted. She went ahead and opened the door. Aaron had instinctively put an arm around your shoulders to which you let him. For some reason, you were okay with his touch now and it was actually comforting. It was hard for you to walk anyway, so leaning against him made it easier. Aaron lifted a hand to signal for the woman to not open the door too fast. She nodded in understanding and slowly swung it open.

           The sunlight flooded into the house and dazzled your eyes. You had to squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head, but even that wasn’t enough. You brought your hands over your face as you felt Aaron’s hand on your shoulder guide you forward. You stumbled at first, not being able to see correctly, but to your surprise, your eyes started adjusting to the blinding light. Cool, moving air hit your face and you felt like you may choke. Your hands were clenched in tight fists against your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible to not draw attention. To your dismay, a couple of other people came rushing up to you wearing all white. You gasped and cowered further into Aaron’s side. He signaled for the medics to slow down and they did. You were relieved that everyone seemed to listen to him without fail. He walked you all the way down the driveway and to the back of a huge white van.

           “An…a-amb-…ambu-?” You tried to remember what the name was of that car.

           Aaron noticed, “…An ambulance?”

           You glanced up, not realizing he had heard you mumbling to yourself, “U-uh…oh…yeah. An ambulance…” you whispered.

           You saw him try and smile briefly before he turned his head the other way, trying to hide it. Suddenly, you two had made it to the ambulance and he put his hands under your arms to lift you onto the back of it. You felt flustered as he stood below you, asking for you to get medical attention immediately. The medics nodded and climbed into the back with you. You still had your hands clasped to your chest, nervously fiddling with the collar of your shirt. You watched the men work around you as they got your gurney ready. You quickly looked back out and Aaron was walking away to talk to his partners. Your heart clenched in fear of being left alone with these strangers without protection.

           “A-ah…w-wait…!” You mutter under your breath, not used to talking around so many people.

           He obviously didn’t hear you and the medics were trying to coax you onto the bed so you could start getting treated properly. One reached a hand out to gently grab your arm and guide you to the bed. You nervously let him do so and you slowly sat down, still looking outside. The doors to the back of the ambulance suddenly slammed closed and you flinched.

           “Wait!” You cried, feeling trapped and vulnerable.

           The medics had to grab your wrists to hold you down as the ambulance started driving away from the scene.

           “N-no! Wait! Stop!” You tried to tear your limbs free, “Aaron!” you shrieked so loud you scared yourself and even made the medics wince.

           You saw Aaron had heard you because he turned around from talking with his group. You could have sworn you two made eye contact through the ambulance’s door windows as he jogged over quickly, signaling for the driver to stop. The car came to an abrupt halt, making the various medical instruments cling together. You gasped at the movement, feeling sick again, you hadn’t been in a car in a very long time. One medic went over to open the door, which Aaron was knocking on. He climbed up the step and asked what was wrong. The men shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders.

           “We were getting her to lay down when she started screaming, this is to be expected of kidnapped victims so don’t worry, sir. We have everything under control.” The medic who opened the door for him explained.

           Aaron glanced over at you, “What’s wrong?”

           You were breathing heavily from the struggle, “U-um…” you weren’t entirely sure what had made you call for him to begin with.

           Aaron walked into the ambulance further and took a seat against the wall across from you. Everyone was watching him, wondering what was going on. He looked at the medics, expecting them to do something.

           “Let’s go, then.” Aaron told them.

           The medics promptly went into action, realizing he was staying for the ride. You turned to Aaron in surprise, feeling guilty again.

           He locked eyes with you and leaned forward, “I’m sorry he was able to get to you back there.” He said in a low voice.

           You were confused, _was he apologizing?_

           “I should have kept you away from him but failed to do that.” He continued, “I’ll stay with you as long as you need me.”

           With that he briefly placed a reassuring hand on your arm, his face full of sincerity. You were so focused on what he was saying that you didn’t even realize the medics had started their work on you.  You weren’t sure how to respond, you weren’t even sure you understood why he was feeling guilty. You were content, nonetheless, that he was going to stay with you. You were certain that if you had stepped foot out of that house you would be faced with terrible things. With Aaron next to you though, nothing has happened. You didn’t know him very well but was happy he was here. _Happy…_

           “…Thank you…” You murmured, barely above a whisper and without looking at him.

           He caught it though, and you saw him nod slightly in the corner of your eye.

           Once the ambulance had pulled into the hospital, you felt your nerves start to rise again. Your hand instinctively clenched the bed sheet since you couldn’t move them due to the restraints the medics had put on you. They hurt only when you pulled on them because of the previous bruising and scarring. Other than that, the restraints around your wrists were padded and soft. It didn’t make it any less terrifying to be held down though. Your fists opened and closed, trying to find an outlet for your nerves. Aaron, who had sat next to you the whole ride, noticed and called a medic over. They were opening the doors and getting your gurney ready to move. He asked in a hushed voice for something. You watched intently as the medic nodded and reached into a drawer and pulled a small object out. He handed it to Aaron who waited for the medic to go back to his business before turning to you.

           “Here.” He said, bringing his hand to yours since you couldn’t move.

           You looked with curiosity as something soft but solid fell into your palm. It was a small, purple ball with the face of a cartoon dog painted on it.

           Your eyes lit up, “Aww…” you breathed.

           You heard Aaron chuckle, “Squeeze it.”

           You glanced up at him with a confused look and gave it a tender squeeze. The imprint of your fingers stayed for a few seconds before the ball returned to its original form. You giggled and squeezed it a few more times.

           “Ah…!” You gasped as a cut on your finger split open again from using the ball.

           Aaron heard your discomfort and tensed up, “What happened?” he asked, worry tracing his voice.

           “U-um…” you stretched out your index finger to expose a rather deep gash started bleeding, “I-I had chains on me…and…I u-used a piece of glass…to open them…”

           Tears pricked your eyes as you remembered your struggle to get out. Guilt pierced your heart as the image of your bleeding master invaded your mind. Aaron was watching you intently and noticed you having a hard time. He glanced over to the medic’s side-table and grabbed a band-aid.

           “Let me see.” He said softly, taking your hand in his to examine.

           You let him, extending your index fingers once more to show the wound. Aaron took a tissue and dabbed the blood off before cleaning it with alcohol. You winced and hissed in pain, your hand twitching to pull away from him but you knew he was only helping. He stopped and looked up at you, making sure you’re okay.

           “Sorry.” He murmured under his breath as he readied the band-aid.

           You nodded, knowing It wasn’t his fault. He then wrapped the bandage around your finger. You were surprised by how gentle he was handling you, excepting him to be much rougher for his size. You hadn’t felt so relaxed or cared for so long. It was nice.

           “Th-thank you.” You stuttered, looking over at him with a genuine smile.

           You saw him crack a small grin before he needed to look away, _Am **I** making **him** nervous? _You thought as you tried to observe his expression. Aaron then got up and walked out of the ambulance. You panicked at first before your bed started to suddenly move. The medics, one on each side, got your gurney out of the car and started pushing you to a hospital room.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Day**

 

* * *

 

            The sound of a monitor’s soft beeping woke you from a deep slumber. You cracked open your tired eyes and saw the room you were in was dim and little chilly. Everything was a pristine white, the walls, the ceiling, your bed. A shiver ran up your spine as you tried to shift your limbs. The soft blankets slid over your skin gently and smelled very clean. You were still trying to wake up when you started to hear distant voices. Your eyes shot open when you as memories suddenly started to flow back into your mind. You sat upright quickly, a little too quickly, because the room started to spin. You brought a hand up to hold your throbbing head.

            “Lay back down, you’re still recovering.” You heard a familiar voice coax you back to reality.

            You glanced to the side of your bed and saw Aaron sitting in a chair watching you. His presence startled as you weren’t expecting to see him there. He looked very tired and worn out, still in his button-up with the sleeves rolled up. He stood up and laid one hand on your shoulder and another behind you to slowly lay you back down. You let him, tensing slightly at the contact, however.

            “Am I in a hospital room?” You asked with a hoarse voice, looking up at him.

            Aaron nodded and sat back down, “You are in very bad shape.”

            You drew your eyebrows together; you knew you felt sick a lot but didn’t realize you would have to be hospitalized. There were a few IV tubes attached to your arms and random bandages littering your body. Your wrists and ankles even had wraps around them help them heal quicker. You saw Aaron was still examining you intently and it made you a little nervous.

            “What’s your name?” He abruptly asked.

            You turned to him, “U-um…Number Four.” You replied confidently.

            You saw the corners of his lips turn up slightly, thinking you were joking. When he realized you were being serious, his facial expression became stern again.

            “Your real name.” He pressed.

            You nodded and opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. You furrowed your brows in concentration and had to look away. _Oh my god…what’s my name?_

            “I…I’m Number Four…” You whispered, nodding your head as if to try and convince yourself.

            Aaron lifted his eyebrows in surprise and leaned back somewhat, obviously not sure if he should say what he’s about to say.

            “They…can’t find you anywhere in their database.” He struggled to tell you, “Do you…remember your family? Friends? Anything before your abduction that can tell us where you’re from or who you are?”

            You shook your head violently, becoming frustrated with the questions, “I-I don’t know! I’m j-just Number Four…!”

            Your eyes became watery as your breathing picked up. _I can’t remember anything!_ Aaron reached a reassuring hand to clasp your trembling ones in your lap. You flinched away at first contact, but then allowed yourself to enjoy his warm touch over your freezing fingers.

            “I’ll be right back.” He promised and stood up to leave.

            You gasped at first, watching him go, but knew you had no right to stop him. You waited in your bed, listening to the monitor beep behind you. Your room was dead quiet, your heartbeat was the loudest sound you’d ever heard. It reminded you too much of your room back in the house’s basement. You decided to try and observe what was going on outside of your room since the walls were mostly made of windows. Aaron had walked over to join two of his other partners. You recognized one, the woman with the long black hair, however, the other was a stranger to you. He had darker skin and was bald. He also looked very strong; concern written all over his face though. They kept glancing over at your room every few minutes, making you more nervous as time went on. _What are they going to do with me?_

            You decided your only hope was to try and remember your past. You closed your eyes tightly and tried to breathe in a calm manner. Everything was black. It was like a wall was blocking you from accessing memories. Only bits and pieces of your time with your master flashed past your mind’s eye. The countless days and nights blurring together into one long daze. You could almost feel the touch of his violent hands on you, hitting you, choking you, throwing you into walls and against the floor. You remembered how he would force you to drink things that weren’t water or inject questionable liquids into your veins. The strongest memory you have was of yesterday. The struggle to get free, the shock of the intruders, the loud bang before your master fell to the floor. You couldn’t get that sound out of your head. His screaming and cursing, his complete disregard of your cries for him. The feeling of helplessness.

            “Ma’am!” A voice broke you out of your trance.

            You gasped and opened your eyes, feeling wetness on your cheeks. You lifted a hand to your face and wiped tears away, not realizing you had started crying and your breathing was erratic. You looked up at who yelled at you and saw Aaron’s concerned face looming closely. You had to look away, though, his intense gaze too much for you.

            “Sorry…” You croaked, feeling bad for worrying him.

            He shook his head, “You don’t have to be sorry, you’re obviously in a fragile state.” He rubbed his chin, considering what he’d say next, “Would you mind if my team and I came back tomorrow to ask more questions?”

            You felt fear pierce your heart as his words hit your ears, “No!” you shouted without realizing it.

            Aaron looked taken aback at your outburst and was about to reply when you interrupted him, “Ah…I mean…I don’t want to be…left alone.” You mumbled, looking down at your hands.

            “You won’t be, the doctors and nurses will be here with you all night.” He reassured you.

            You looked up at him, “But…” you wracked your brain, trying to understand your own feelings.

            Something seemed to change in Aaron as he watched you struggle. He knelt down next to your bed so he could look up at you instead of hovering over you. You returned the gaze and noticed how soft his features had become. He placed his arms across your lap to cup your hands in both of his.

            “Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked in a very hush and soft voice you didn’t even know he was capable of.

            The question surprised you, not expecting him to be able to read you so well, because you didn’t even know that that was what you wanted. You swallowed your nerves down, thinking it over and looking off to the side.

            “Hey…” He grabbed your attention again, “You’ve been through a lot, I want to take care of you.”

            You couldn’t possibly break eye contact now, even if you wanted to. His words hit you in a way you didn’t know how to react. It was like your heart skipped a beat and it terrified you. Your feelings were overwhelming, and you couldn’t stop but smile down at him and nod slowly.

            “Please, stay with me…” You whispered, maintaining the hushed tone of your conversation.

            Aaron smiled back up at you and gave your hands a squeeze before releasing them and standing up again. You saw him glance over to his team who was watching from the outside warily.

            He quickly looked over at you again, “I’ll be right back.”

            You nodded, knowing he meant it, as he hurriedly walked out to talk with his partners. You watched patiently. You couldn’t hear them so all you could do was try and decipher their behavior. They appeared tense but attentive to whatever Aaron was saying to them. Some of them nodded in understanding and started to pack up their things. Aaron then seemed to say his goodbyes as the group waved and turned to leave. He then made his way back into your room, closing the door behind him softly and turning back to you.

            “Okay, I believe the nurses will be here in a few minutes to run some tests,” He informed you while walking back to sit in his chair, “but I’ll be with you the whole time.”

            You gave him a small smile and nodded, “Th-thank you, Aaron…”

            His eyes shot up to yours at the sound of his name. You noticed and wondered if you had done something wrong.

            “Sorry…” You chuckled, trying to make it seem like an innocent mistake.

            He shook his head and his lips were pressed in a hard line, “No…um, I mean, you’re welcome.” He gave you a curt nod and hurriedly grabbed a generic magazine that was laying on a side table.

            You hadn’t known him for very long, but you guessed that he wasn’t a huge magazine reader. It seemed odd, how his behavior suddenly changed. You wondered if he was distracting himself or hiding something from you. _Did I make him uncomfortable? Why did he become so flustered when I said his name?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Helpful criticism is GREATLY appreciated.
> 
> Want to know more about me? Follow my Tumblr: http://moon-chlld.tumblr.com/  
> I'm always open to Asks and Submissions :)


	4. It's Me & U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I didn't post a chapter last week due to the holiday craziness. Thanks for the patience, now here's a new chapter! 
> 
> In this chapter, some of the team is finally introduced properly to you, the victim. Although, there are some complications that need to be resolved, and quickly. 
> 
> Enjoy!

            That night, you lay there in your hospital bed looking up at the ceiling. You had fallen asleep without too much trouble but staying asleep had proven to be a challenge. There were so many thoughts running through your head that it was hard to relax for a peaceful slumber. All of the new people and environments you’ve experienced so far has you feeling like you were stuck in a tornado of confusion. You felt so hopeless and empty that you didn’t know what to do with yourself sometimes. You were lost in this new world and it’s hard to know who or what to trust without someone telling you. You rolled over onto your side to see Aaron, the FBI agent, who was sleeping in a chair next to your bed. You had no idea what the FBI even was until he had to explain it to you. You were still having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that you were being held captive by a serial killer. It’s almost like everything you knew was wrong in some way. It was tiring, to say the least. You felt lucky, nonetheless, that Aaron was kind enough to stay with you. Guilt prodded at your heart for being such a nuisance, but the fear of being vulnerable to anyone else was stronger. He was slouched, one leg crossed over the other, and he was propping his head up with his hand. You could tell he was in a deep sleep because little snores would escape him every now and then. His soft breathing soon had your eyes fluttering closed again.

* * *

 

**The Next Morning**

 

* * *

             “She’s waking up, you can come in now.” You heard a woman’s voice drifting around in the distance.           

            You opened your eyes to see the morning sun filtering into your once dimly lit room. The warmth from the sunrays felt so cozy on your pale skin. A small smile made its way to your lips as you stretched your limbs, joints cracking satisfyingly.

            “Glad to see you’re doing better.” You heard someone chuckle.

            You froze and looked over at the woman entering your room. It was that other FBI agent with the long black hair.

            Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment and you immediately retracted your arms and legs close to your body, “Uh-um…”

            She came over to sit down on the chair next to your bed. You remember that the last person sitting in that chair was Aaron. You wondered where he was now. _Did he leave? Was I asking too much of him?_ You thought worriedly. Then, as if sensing your thoughts, you saw Aaron round a corner and start making his way too your room with a few other people walking behind him. You gave a little sigh of relief and let your shoulders relax.

            The woman sitting next to you looked from you to Aaron, and then back to you, “You’ve grown quite fond of Hotch, haven’t you?” she asked softly with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  

            You looked over at her with a surprised look, “Um…” you had to glance down at your hands in your lap, “I-I guess…maybe…”

            She nodded but noticed how uncomfortable you became, “My name is Emily, I don’t know if you remember me from yesterday, but my team and I would like to ask you some questions to help understand your situation better.”

            You glanced over to your door as Aaron opened it abruptly. He had his eyes fixed on Emily, he seemed surprised to see her here with you.

            He leaned over to her, “You should have waited for me,” he whispered.

            Emily made a guilty face and mouthed the word, ‘sorry’. Aaron just nodded, knowing she was being sincere and trying to calm himself in your presence. When his eyes met yours, they immediately seemed to soften. You couldn’t help but smile, biting the inside of your lips to keep it hidden while trying to maintain eye contact with him.

            “Did you sleep well?” He asked sympathetically, raising his eyebrows.

            You nodded, “Yes…u-um,” you hesitated for a moment, “did you?”

            He seemed a little surprised that you were taking interest in his own well-being, “Yeah, thank you.” He nodded, a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

            He kept eye contact a few seconds longer, “Uh, Prentiss can you get Rossi and Reid ready?” He coughed, suddenly looking down at the government folders he was holding.

She looked between you and Aaron and rolled her eyes while smirking. She got up to leave the room and prepare the other two agents waiting outside. Aaron glanced over her closing the door and then finally returned his gaze to you once more.

            “So, I’m going to introduce you to a few more members of my team, if that’s alright?” He asked, concern written in his face.

            You glanced down and thought about it for a second. You looked outside your window, there were two men with Emily. One you think you remembered from the yesterday, he was the very tall and lanky man that followed behind while Aaron carried you out. The other you weren’t sure, he looked older than the rest of his team and wore a goatee. _I think I can handle that…hopefully._ You thought, trying to be confident in yourself. You clenched your fists and looked back over to Aaron, nodding in approval. Aaron then motioned for his team to come in. The younger, taller man walked in first with big strides.

            He extended a hand to you and smiled nicely, “Hi, I’m Dr. Reid.”

            You tentatively reached out your hand to grasp his. He lightly shook it and let go straight away, not wanting to frighten you. The other, older man walked in and waved his hand while nodding to you.

            “I’m David, nice to meet you.” He gave a brief smile.

            You felt the need to return the gesture by announcing your own name, but you had yet to remember it. Instead, you simply nodded and smiled shyly to everyone in the room. Having all these eyes trained on you started to make you feel a little light headed.

            “If the questions start to be too much for you just let us know, okay?” Emily said while pulling out a notepad and pencil.

            You nodded, taking a deep breath.

            Aaron started with the first question, “Can you explain to us what a regular day with Stanley was like?”

            “Um…” You never knew your master had a real name like ‘Stanley’, it sounded too normal, “I guess, the only routine he really h-had was serving meals. I would usually be brought something for breakfast and something for dinner…”

            A few of them nodded, “Was it good food?” David asked.

            You nodded, “I-I think so, sometimes it just looked like scraps from what he didn’t eat that night…I don’t know, though…I was lucky to be fed at all…” you whispered the last part, remembering how he’d tell you that he didn’t _have_ to feed you at all and he was doing it out the kindness of his heart.

            “What else would he do regularly?” Emily asked.

            You looked down, “Um…I-I don’t know why but um…he would do…experiments?” you glanced up for reassurance.

            Emily nodded to help you continue, “What kind of experiments?”

            “Like…” you started fidgeting with your fingers, “to fix me, I think…to make me perfect? H-he would always talk about things needing to be…perfect.”

            “So, he would perform experiments for you or on you?” Dr. Reid chimed in.

            Aaron and Emily glanced over at him for being so blunt. He looked around innocently.

            “W-well, I just mean you said he wanted everything to be perfect so is it possible that the experiments were to make his victims somehow perfect in his perspective?” He said, quickly trying to explain himself.

            “Yes…” You whispered, trying to break the tension, “He would make special medicines for me and I would need to drink them or…p-put it in a needle and…"

            You felt yourself start to space out. Your lips started feeling numb, making hard to talk or concentrate.

            Aaron noticed and came to your side to put a hand on your shoulder, “You’re doing great, just a few more questions, okay?” he breathed to you quietly.

            You nodded, starting to come back to your senses from the warmth of his hand on your shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and then let go, giving you space.

            “Can you give us an example of the experiments he performed?” Aaron asked, slightly wincing at the harsh question.

            “Um…the most recent one was to help me remember.” You mumbled, starring at the floor.

            “Remember what?” He pressed.

            “T-to…” you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, “to call him ‘Master’.”

            “What did he do, exactly?” Dr. Reid asked, confused.

            You glanced up at him, wondering if it was okay to show them what he had done to you. You decided it was the best course of action to give them the answers they wanted and lifted your shirt slightly. Their gazes looked down to your now exposed lower abdomen and saw the cuts made to read ‘Master’ carved into your skin.

            “I-I didn’t know he had a real name like that…I would always forget to call him Master and…he would punish me…” you started to trail off again, “he did so much for me…it’s all my fault, honestly…I should’ve known better…it’s my fault…”

            “Okay, I think we’re done for now,” Aaron ordered his team for them to give you some time to relax, “we’ll try again in a few hours…”

            The three agents nodded and left quietly, conversing among themselves and their newfound knowledge. The door clicked closed, leaving you and Aaron alone in the hospital room. He walked over slowly, shoes tapping faintly on the cold, tile floor. He gently sat down next to you on your bed. The bed you were on wasn’t too big, even if you had scooted over, your thigh would still be touching him from where he sat. The contact was subtle, probably unnoticeable to anyone else, but your brain hyper-fixated on it. Even while he was sitting, he was still looming over you in height. You tried to shake off your distracting thoughts and concentrate on what he was about to say instead.

            Aaron turned to you, his intense stare making you shudder, “I want to make sure you know that…none of what this man did to you is your fault.”

            You swallowed hard, staring up at him with nervous eyes, “B-but I…he told me- “

            “Whatever he said to you was a lie.” He interrupted, startling you.

            Aaron looked down apologetically, “Sorry,” he sighed in distress.

            You couldn’t understand why he felt so passionately about this. It felt like he was the one angrier and more hurt by this man than you were sometimes. The thought of Aaron being so disgruntled about your situation made you feel a little guilty. You decided it was time for you to return his kindness and reached out a hesitant hand to place over his. You felt him tense at your touch, which frightened you a bit, thinking you had done something wrong. Although, as you placed your hand flush on top of his, you instantly felt him relax. He looked up at you, trying to read you to make sure everything was fine.

            “I-I don’t want you to be mad for me…I’ve caused enough trouble already…” You stared up at him with glossy eyes, “…I really appreciate what you’ve done for me…even if I don’t understand it sometimes…”

            You were trying to make sense of what you were saying. It was hard to put your feelings into a proper sentence after all this time. Talking this much, with someone who actually listens, was never the norm from where you once came. Aaron was still staring at you, watching you closely. You noticed you hadn’t said anything in a few minutes and was still clenching his hand tightly. Suddenly feeling very embarrassed, you felt your face becoming hot and bothered.

            “Oh…um, I’m sorry…” You breathed, smiling awkwardly and jerking your hand away.

            He quickly turned his hand over to grasp yours before you could take it away completely. You flinched in surprise but didn’t try and pull away. He started speaking again, bringing your attention back up to his face.

            “I’m doing this because I want to.” His eyes were searching for something within yours, “What happened to you was not fair. That man is going away for the rest of his life because of what he did to you; and three other girls. You survived for a **reason**.”

            He squeezed your hand slightly to emphasize his words. All you could do was nod while looking up at him, the air in the room felt heavy with emotion and it was hard to breathe. At that moment, you felt connected with him, like your hearts were beating at the same time. Nothing could possibly break your attention away from him.

            “I’m going to see you through this.” He whispered, feeling his breath close to your face.

            You just kept nodding, tears starting to prick at your eyes. Aaron noticed and quickly brought his other hand up to wipe a tear that was rolling down your cheek with his thumb. You flinched away from his touch, it all becoming too much for you. You gave him a small apologetic smile, bringing your own hand up to wipe your cheek better.

            A knock at your door broke the intense bubble you two were inside. Aaron quickly stood up and tried to compose himself before the nurse walked in with a polite smile.

            “Excuse me, Agent Hotchner?” She asked, reading his name off of a clipboard she was holding and looking up to him.

            He nodded in reply, “Yes?”

            “Could we have a word with you, please?” She asked calmly and stepped aside to let him walk through the door.

            He hesitated at first, glancing over at you. You noticed and quickly nodded to let him know you’re okay. He then made his way out the door, the nurse following close behind and shutting it. You sighed, knowing all you could do was sit and wait for someone to return. 

* * *

  

**Hotch's POV**

 

* * *

            Hotch felt slightly irritated at being pulled away from you in such a vulnerable moment. Although, he understood he was getting too attached and needed to bring himself back down to Earth for a moment. Prentiss, Reid, and Rossi were all waiting for him outside of your room. They seemed to have a knowing look about them. They knew as well as Hotch did that he was letting himself get too close to this case and the victim. He felt as though he couldn’t help it. You reminded him too much of someone else he had lost long ago.

            The nurse joined the group, “We’re having a very hard time finding any blood relatives that match this girl.” She informed the group, “I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to keep her in our care after she’s recovered.”

            “How is it that a missing person doesn’t have anyone waiting or looking for her?” Emily asked, frustrated about the situation.

            “That’s the thing,” Rossi murmured, “no one reported her missing, we didn’t even know there **was** a fourth victim.”

            Hotch shook his head in disappointment, “What will happen to her?”

            The nurse glanced over to him, “Well, she obviously is very fragile, physically and emotionally. She’ll need to be desensitized to this new world she’s being introduced to.”

            “She’ll be institutionalized.” Reid sighed sadly.

            The nurse nodded, “She’ll have to be put into a mental hospital until, if ever, she can support herself or someone claims her.”

            Aaron’s heart sunk, that was the last thing he wanted for you to go through. _The drastic change in environment and people would do more harm than good_ , he thought. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

            “It’s probably for the best, Hotch. She needs professional care to live a normal life.” Emily stated, seeing that he was having a hard time with this conversation.

            Hotch shook his head, looking at the ground, “She’ll never have a normal life going down this road.” He looked up, “It was finalized the day she was abducted.”

            The discussion fell silent after his grave tone echoed in everyone’s mind. They stood there, wondering what to do in this kind of situation.

            “Well, technically, we have to be heading back in a few hours.” Reid carefully reminded the group.

            They all looked up at him, nodding slightly but sending nervous glances over at Hotch who sighed heavily.

            “I know it’s not our problem,” Hotch muttered under his breath, knowing what Reid was getting at, “I can’t just…leave her.” He tried to explain.

            “You can’t do this to yourself, Hotch.” Rossi stated firmly, “This isn’t your responsibility, we **saved** her, remember?”

            “Of course, I know that.” He replied gruffly, his voice slowly raising in agitation, “But what good is that going to do when she’s going to end up locked in a room all over again?"

            The three seemed taken aback by his outburst, not realizing how attached he had really become. Hotch didn’t even comprehend how committed he was to you until this moment. He blinked a few times, knowing he stepped out of line.

            He sighed apologetically, “I…can’t just let this go, she needs someone.”

            “She’ll have trained professionals.” The nurse softly reminded him.

            Hotch looked down, defeated, knowing that this was the best possible outcome they could manage for you. He just couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone with strangers who may or may not be as gentle or as kind as you needed. They wouldn’t understand you as he did. It just didn’t seem fair to him.

            Hotch looked from one teammate to the next before turning to walk back into your hospital room, “She’s coming with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Helpful criticism is GREATLY appreciated.
> 
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